Our lives were forever changed the day we lost Corey. He was an amazing man who loved the Lord and his family with all that he was. The pain of losing him is like no other. Our only comfort comes from knowing we will see him again someday.

I have moved the slideshow played at Corey's service to it's own post page above, titled "Corey's Memorial Service - August 10, 2010"

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Sunday, March 20, 2011

Clinging to God...clinging to hope-Part 2

     As part of the MOPS panel discussion on depression, all of us who shared put together a handout with information on the topic. Below are suggestions I shared on how to help a loved one who is struggling with this illness. I'm certainly no 'expert' on this subject. I was not a perfect wife, that's for sure. All I could do was my best and ask God for lots of help. Some of these suggestions are, therefore, things that in hindsight I wish I had done (or done more of). Above all, I've learned that I couldn't save Corey; only God could have done that.

Suggestions for helping a loved one who is struggling with depression:
·         Recognize that it is not your responsibility to fix the person
·         Pray for your loved one and get prayer support from others for you and your loved one. It is important to be cautious with the who (who to tell as well as how many people to share with) and how much to share about the situation. You don’t want your loved one losing their trust in your relationship.
·         Be persistent in letting the depressed individual know you care about how they are doing. Give them opportunities to share not just their struggles but whatever is important to them and be available to listen without judging their thoughts and feelings. It can be extremely hard for the depressed to open up.
·         Encourage activity/exercise but don’t heap guilt on the person if they are non-participatory.
·         Offer ideas while being careful not to “parent” the individual (particularly if the depressed is your husband). Don’t mother him. Help him keep his dignity as he tries to find solutions for himself (with your help of course).  Remember, what works for one person might not be effective for someone else. 
·         Be your husband’s help meet particularly by being his biggest supporter (this doesn’t mean enabling bad behavior).
·         Encourage the depressed that it is okay to share their struggles with others they feel they can trust. This can give others the opportunity to help in ways you might not be able to.
·         Get support for yourself. Sharing daily life with someone who is suffering from depression can be very challenging. Getting support early on can help prevent the situation from worsening. 

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